Jay de la Cruz is SVP of Media at Underscore Marketing with over 25 years of experience delivering strategic media solutions.
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We’re all looking for someone to reassure us that we’re going down the right path—it’s human nature. Most leaders can probably remember wanting clear guidance or a role model to connect with. Younger generations are asking questions about how to move forward and are looking to leaders for answers. They want and need mentors to guide them.
At some point in all of our careers, we’re going to provide guidance to the people around us. Having the right skills and the right approach is key to becoming a trusted mentor and building a supportive community.
Understanding your mentees is at the core of mentorship.
I strongly believe that the foundation of mentorship is understanding your mentees. When building a relationship with a mentee, you need to understand a number of things about them: What’s important to them? What are their expectations of you? What do they want to get out of this relationship?
Some people really do want specific guidance and feedback from their mentor. Some want a mentor who will simply say “yes” and agree with them no matter what. Others are just looking for an opportunity to vent and complain. Once I understand their expectations, we can decide whether we want to continue the relationship or find a mentor better suited for their needs.
Once we’ve established our relationship, my approach is constant listening. I want to understand what they like to do and what they like about their current jobs, so I can help them work toward doing more of those specific things.
For example, if someone is really into negotiations, we’ll focus on getting the best client discounts. If someone is interested in developing innovative new solutions, we’ll explore which cool new technologies we can leverage for our clients. I use that to set up their goals for the year.
In a strong partnership, I like to explore whether my mentee wants to be challenged and see how much further we can go. For example, if someone likes to write blogs, we might start with a goal of writing three in three months. But if that person wants to be challenged, I may ask if they’re interested in sitting on a panel at a conference.
Understanding your mentee—what motivates and interests them—is important to developing that understanding so you can guide them down the right path.
Guidance is key to mentoring a team.
I once worked with someone who was my team lead. Whenever I would share what I was thinking, he would actively write things down—but nothing really came of it. He never did anything with that information. In my line of work, which is media planning and strategy, I need someone to bounce ideas off of, someone who will tell me whether or not I’m following the right path. And I wasn’t getting that from him.
As a mentor, you can’t just sit back. In order to give that right guidance, you must lean in and be active with your team. Two key parts of this are focus and flexibility.
If someone is going down a rabbit hole, as their mentor, I can pull them out and help them refocus. I don’t want to err on the side of micromanaging, but I can help them course-correct by revisiting our priorities as a team and ensuring everyone has what they need to stay on track. It’s also about reminding people they can’t do everything and helping them stay focused on one thing they’re interested in.
There’s also a sense of flexibility and being able to recognize when you need to adjust and adapt your approach based on what interests your mentee. For example, someone may go down a certain path because they want to explore it more. Two weeks later, something changes, and they don’t want to do that anymore. As a mentor, I’ll find out why that changed, make adjustments to the game plan, and then see if that interest comes back in a year.
There is a trust factor in providing guidance. Your team needs to trust that you will lead the way, and you have to trust that they will be honest with you if something isn’t working. I always encourage a discussion so I can understand what my mentees need and they can understand my guidance.
Mentors need mentors.
Deep down, I’m an introvert. Sometimes small talk annoys me. I need some sort of deeper engagement to build a connection with someone. This is an important skill for all mentors—and something they can learn from their own mentors. Focusing on these connection skills and building relationships with your mentees can get you out of your bubble.
I’ve had numerous mentors throughout my life who have helped me master these skills, leading to strong relationships with my own mentees. These are a few of my key strategies:
• Prepare for conversations in advance, especially if I’m going to let my team lead the conversation. I like to list three to five things I’d like to learn from my mentee or team and use those to help guide the conversation if it starts hitting a lull.
• Ask questions, especially open-ended ones. This is how you get to know your mentees and build trust. It’s all about finding that one question that will get someone to start talking—and keep it going.
Anyone can be a mentor.
At the end of the day, most people are looking for the same things: promotions, advancement and salary increases. As you achieve these milestones yourself, you can mentor others to do the same. By sharing your thoughts about your own path, you can find and connect with people who want the same things.
Good mentors are not driven by ego, and it’s a rare person who moves through life without helping someone. Mentorship is about helping other people as you go through your career. Whether you have 10 mentees or just one, anyone can be a mentor. It’s simply about making an effort to guide someone forward and become a trusted leader.
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